“I can’t remember a time when church wasn’t central in my life. I grew up going to church with family, being part of Sunday school, youth group, worship teams and bible studies. I love church, it’s core to who I am.
“At the moment, though, I’m not ‘going to church’ anywhere. It pains me to say…but there it is.
“My faith hasn’t stopped, nor has my ministry. I’m actively involved in a music team that offers worship in surprising places, a prayer group and a few other things. It wasn’t a crisis of faith that stopped my attendance. I just had different ideas about what it meant to be a disciple, to live out faith and connect with the community. No one said anything directly, but slowly I got the idea that I was somehow different and that people didn’t value what I had to offer. I felt distanced from everyone, misunderstood and started to withdraw.
“Eventually, I just stopped showing up. Nothing really happened, I don’t think people noticed. I miss it, I miss people and connection and it’s been hard. It is also a relief not to feel alienated from other believers every week though. In some ways I feel freer now to live out my life and mission. I don’t know, is that a bad thing?”
